"You've changed".

These word are often said as a criticism, accusation or with a slightly judgemental tone.

Is it because people expect us to be the same as when they first knew us?  Maybe.  Is it because our growth and change make others feel uncomfortable?  Maybe that too.

We all grow and change, every day.  The experiences we have, the things we read (yes, including this post), the people we converse with, the places we visit – all of these influence us and alter the way we look at the world and the way we behave.

Times - they change us

We all change, all the time.  Yet there are times of our lives such as when we are experiencing growth or grief, where the changes we are going through become more obvious to others.

After certain experiences, such as losing a child, you may find you feel like you’ve dramatically changed.  Others just may not see how you've changed.  Yet.

But, you HAVE changed.

Your way of looking at the world is different.

Your approach to parenting has altered.

Your understanding of life and what is truly important has changed too.

These changes can result in a feeling of being adrift, or overwhelm as you draw on every ounce of resilience you have to adjust to your new way of being, and your new reality.  The challenge is that you have to change and adapt in order to cope with the changes you are experiencing, and that is okay.

But what about when we decide to change ourselves?

For myself, as I reflected last week, I made a major life change based on a moment. Yes, a throwaway line at the end of a late night.  But realistically, the need for change was probably slow, steady and started some time earlier,  but I was so busy 'doing' that I forgot to pay attention.  As a result, when I finally did start to notice that things in my life weren’t feeling right anymore, the need to do things differently hit me hard.  And thus, it felt like a moment was all it took.

The key is to recognising those moments, listening to your heart and acknowledging the little voice in your head saying it's time for something different.

When you feel the need to change, it's okay.  You don’t always need to ‘do’ something about it – just be aware that change for change’s sake is also completely okay.

And perhaps, like me, with time and reflection, your desire to do something different will link with the changes that occurred after the loss of your child, resulting in a whole new way of being.

If you are feeling the need for change in your life and would like support to make it happen, book a discovery session with me today.