Trusting our instincts, or listening to our intuition, is something we women are supposedly good at.  But, it can take life experience and practice to really learn what that really means.  Learning to trust our instincts can take time.

What are our instincts?

Instincts are defined as an inborn pattern of behaviour, as a natural aptitude or gift or, as natural intuitive power. So, instincts are a bit like intuition.  And intuition is defined as direct perception of truth or facts, independent of any reasoning process; immediate knowing.

I tend to think of instincts as that feeling you get when you can't quite explain why, or what; it's just a feeling.  A hunch.

These feelings can also be our intuition - the silent knowing.  When we trust our instincts, we gain knowledge we would not have had if we did not trust it.

Learning to trust my instincts

From time to time, I am asked whether my experience of baby loss has changed me.  Or, more frequently, HOW has it changed me.  Well, I am changed as a result of the loss of our child, but I am still me too.

But how have I changed?

The biggest change came in the form of a reminder - that I should trust my instincts.

At the time of his loss, I should have trusted my instincts.  My instincts told me there was something wrong, but I let rational thought and someone else explain away my concerns.

I should have trusted my instincts.  But I didn't.

My maternal instincts told me something wasn't right, but I chose to be persuaded that I should ignore them.  It wouldn't have changed the outcome, but I might have avoided 12 hours of anxious worry.

From that harrowing time, one of the most positive reminders I have learned is to trust my instincts. Partly because I now know they are often right; if I feel something is not as it should be, I need to honour that.  It’s taken a long time to admit I should trust those gut feelings and is still a work in progress, but I’m getting there.

The second part of this is acknowledging my own feelings and being okay with them; not denying them or judging them.  I was worried, and I knew something was wrong. I was too easily persuaded to deny those feelings.

But I know now that if my instinct, my gut, says something is not right, then I need to go with that.

No second-guessing.

No downplaying.

Just trusting that my body is letting me know what I need to know.

Trust your instincts

As women, we are often told to act and behave in a certain way, or do a certain thing.  Our society praises analytical thinking and practical approaches.  I understand!  I’ve been using my analytical and practical approach nearly all my adult life.

This approach can mean as women, and as mothers, our ideas and feelings can sometimes be dismissed as too emotional or not analytical enough. Unfortunately, we can at times, find ourselves dismissing our own ideas or feelings as too emotional!

Instead, when we learn to trust our intuition, we honour who we are.  We experience a boost in our self-confidence. Because we are trusting ourselves. We are trusting and listening to our own inner voice.  We are knowing and being ourselves.

As a result of the loss of our son, as well as my experiences this year, I am trying really hard to honour and be true to my instincts.

And that's Okay.

Learn to trust your instincts.  You know what is best for you.

More Support

If your instincts are telling you it's time for a change, and now is your time - get in touch! I'd love to chat with you about how we can work together to help you honour your intuition and live your best life.

You might like to hear my story.  Learning to trust my instincts gets a mention!

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