It's Okay to just be okay: Accepting perfect is unachievable
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It's Okay to just be okay; not perfect, not brilliant. Just okay. Yet in the culture we live in, striving for perfection is unfortunately fairly commonplace. As parents, and mothers, in particular, we are susceptible to falling victim to comparisons, where we compare many aspects of our own life with others who we deem are more "perfect".
What about instead, we say it's okay to just be 'okay.
Not perfect, not brilliant, not even near the best - just okay.
When we are experiencing a lot of change, both wanted and unwanted, the desire to be perfect can rear its head as part of our need to control our circumstances and responses. I know, that's what I was like. Oh, but I told myself and everyone else too it was really because I wanted to be 'the best I could be’. Sound familiar?
Perfect = unachievable
I'll admit, it took a while for me to realise, but perfectionism is unachievable and harmful to much of our life. The striving, driving, and pushing required to come close to perfect is exhausting and damaging to our own self-esteem and confidence. It also can negatively impact the relationships we have. Trying to be the perfect parent or partner can end up with you feeling miserable AND your loved ones feeling they can't live up to your ridiculously high expectations.
By alleviating the pressure of perfection, and accepting that it's okay to be okay we can ensure a happier life. We no longer need to push ourselves to a place of overwhelm and stress.
There will always be areas of your life where you want to do your best and should try to do your best. I can think of a few areas for me - being the best mother I can be, a good wife, a great friend, a terrific coach. But even trying my best does not mean it will be perfect!
But there are other areas of your life where it's okay to not be the best or to even aim for that. There are parts of our lives where it's fine to just be okay. For me, that comes into play with my cooking, cleaning the house, and about a hundred other activities that don't directly contribute to my joy. I give them my best but am not concerned if they are not perfect.
How to be just okay?
A big part of being comfortable with being just okay is about being kind to yourself.
How do we do that?
We change our perspective, lower the expectations we place upon ourselves, and show ourselves the love that we give to others. All of these contribute to being kind to ourselves and allowing us to give up the need to be perfect in all things.
Embracing just okay
Some things to remember:
You don't have to be perfect at anything, let alone try to be perfect at everything.
When you strive to be perfect you always will fall short of your own expectations.
If you aim for perfection you will never be happy. But, if you aim for happiness, you won't care about perfection.
So how about we say 'it's okay to just be okay and give ourselves permission to not be perfect. I'm releasing you from the burden of being brilliant and perfect all the time.
Where could you take this approach? Is there an area of your life where 'just okay' would be just fine for you?
It's okay to just be okay.
Would you like to work on feeling that you are okay, but are not sure where to start? Get in touch and we can have a chat about how we can make that happen for you.
