Do you find yourself craving a room of your own? I did this past weekend.

It was a wet, wild weather weekend in Sydney with severe storm warnings encouraging us to stay indoors. So we did. And whilst I loved being snug, dry and cosy with my family, there were a few moments when I really wished for more physical space between me and the other people in my home.

I found myself wishing I could go to a room of my own!

As adults, we rarely do have a room of our own. Yes, we may have a whole apartment or house that we are responsible for, but not often a single room to do what we please with and in.

This experience got me to thinking about how often as parents we crave a physical or figurative room of our own.

Virginia Woolf put it so perfectly;

"A woman must have money and a room of her own if she is to write fiction".

I would modify this to suggest that we are ALL better with a space of our own and sufficient funds, whether we wish to write fiction or not! We may wish for an area of our own in order to be creative, but there are many other reasons why a room of your own has great appeal.

Perhaps it's part of self-care, or perhaps part of your mental wellbeing - I think of it as my sanity saver. To feel that I can create, own and inhabit a space (literal or figurative) that allows me to just be me is liberating, empowering, and life-affirming. It feels like a personal sanctuary. Plus on the rare occasions, I can slip away to my "room" I experience a deep sense of calm.

We all experience the occasional need to carve out our own space. It needn't be a physical space, although that is very nice, but often we need space in our head; a 'room' of our own where we can be free. Free from others’ expectations, free from others’ demands. Free to be ourselves – to be whatever we want.

In our lives, we play multiple roles, such as a parent, partner, friend, employee, employer, and more. These roles create noise in our heads, with endless to-do lists and tasks constantly vying for our attention. It is from this noise that we may desire to escape to a room of our own, to then tap into the essence of what makes us unique, and be with it. It might be freedom to think, meditate, read, exercise, or just escape the noise and general hubbub around us. All are valid and sound reasons to desire a little space of your own.

Do you feel you could benefit from a room of your own, yet wonder how might you create such a thing?

Here are some starting points;

Is there a physical room or space you can use? (Think broadly and creatively, it need not be an area you would naturally have thought of e.g. could be a garage or shed!)
Is there an area of your home you can commandeer or borrow as your 'room'? (E.g. a quiet corner, a comfy chair, a dining table, a child's desk or table they aren't using)
Is there a way you can create a figurative 'room'? (E.g. put earphones in [without audio if necessary!] in order to send a visual cue to those around you that you need a little space and are not to be disturbed.)
Is there another location you use when you feel the need to 'go to your room'? (E.g. the garden, out for a walk, to the local library or coffee shop?)

A room of our own need not be isolating, and it need not be physically separate from others; simply acknowledging that we have other aspects of our self that might need a little of our love and attention, and could benefit from some breathing space can be important. This is when having an area of our own becomes so valuable as a true sanctuary.

When do you need to take yourself to your room? Are there times in your day or week when being free to go to a space of your own would feel like a gift of sanctuary?

If so, perhaps it's time you created a literal or figurative location where you can have that freedom to truly be yourself and escape to "a room of one’s own", just as Virginia Woolf endorsed.

Need more than a room of your own? As a Certified Career and Life Confidence coach, I support men and women to feel clear, calm, and confident in their career, business, and life. And I’d love to support you to feel the same.

Simply book your complimentary consult to learn more.

Book your complimentary consult