Declutter for clarity and confidence

declutter.png

The start of this month has me welcoming the changes of Autumn, with (slightly) cooler mornings and evenings and looking forward to the evolving season.

All times of change, whether the change is wanted or unwanted, involve a period of transition where we need to let go of something in order to allow space for the new. This is as true in nature as it is in our life and career.

As author, minimalist, and philanthropist Sarah Wilson shares in this month’s book club book, This One Wild and Precious Life, by intentionally removing the items and activities that did not directly speak to her, and by limiting her physical possessions, she feels a greater sense of control. And when we are living through periods of flux, when much can feel out of our control, a small sense of control about some things can be invaluable. In addition, Sarah’s approach means she treads lightly on the planet and has more time and energy to devote to her passions.

Along similar lines, decluttering guru and worldwide publishing success Marie Kondo says in Joy at Work, decluttering our homes and office space can lead to insights about what truly brings us joy. And by reconnecting with what brings us joy, our passions, we are more likely to find career satisfaction and fulfillment. 

Indeed, the experiences of both my clients and myself show that when we simplify, streamline and declutter our commitments and belongings, we gain greater mental clarity. This clarity can be the impetus to start our next project, goal, or life chapter.  And, with that increased clarity, comes greater self-confidence. When we know who we are, our values, and where we’re going, confidence radiates from us. 

Now is the time - it’s a season of change

Autumn is associated with change…

Autumn is associated with change…

The season of Autumn is of course associated with change; traditionally a time when the harvest is collected, the leaves change and drop, temperatures cool and the daylight hours shorten.

For me, the new season always feels like another opportunity to get intentional about how I want to spend my time and who with, and how I want to feel throughout the coming period.  

Embracing this idea of change, and as part of my design for this season, I’ve got a strong desire to feel ‘light’. Light in myself, my interactions with family, friends, and clients, my home, and my impact /footprint on the planet.  Perhaps my desire to feel light mimics the trees shedding their leaves…

In order to feel light, one of the best ways is to undertake some decluttering, of physical belongings, emotions, and mental clutter as well as time commitments and other activities that are not aligned with living an intentional life.

Of course, with the change of season, there will be many articles written about how to streamline and declutter after summer or winter, depending on which hemisphere you live in.  The common messages will be around removing items from your wardrobe or home that you haven’t used and thus freeing your space up for the new season and all it entails. 

Indeed, there has been plenty written about decluttering over the years, by many experts whose advice and recommendations can genuinely assist. (Two of my favorites are here and here). 

I am by no means an expert, however in the interests of sharing knowledge, here are some approaches I have found work really well for those of us who would like to streamline our belongings in order to simplify our life. (Keen to declutter your commitments? This post will help)

 

Start small

The theory

Start small - perhaps with a bathroom drawer?

Start small - perhaps with a bathroom drawer?

I feel like I say this for every change! And I do – because it’s true. All changes, regardless of how substantial, are best started with a small step. This is the easiest way for most of us to get started. Because contrary to popular motivation memes, getting started is rarely the problem. Frequently it is the bit in the middle that gets hard. Starting small means you can build that muscle so that when you get to the tricky bit in the middle, you are already familiar with the time and emotional energy that decluttering requires.

In practice

Starting with a small space where you know there are some easy wins is a good way to build your decluttering muscle. For example, you might decide to tackle one bathroom drawer. Or start with the commitment you enjoy the least and is easiest to stop. Or, start with the items you know need to be discarded – the lone sock sitting idly in the laundry, waiting for its long-missing mate, the broken toy, the puzzle missing pieces (presumably gone up the vacuum cleaner or eaten by the dog)… Or the expired medicine sitting in your first aid box.  

Starting with something small gives you a sense of achievement, which helps maintain your motivation.

Remove

The theory

After you’ve done the hard work of deciding what aligns with your current life and what no longer fits, it’s time to prioritize the removal of excess items from your office or home. When the boxes and bags are left for longer than a few days, you do not reap the benefits of decluttering.

The physical clutter disturbs your mental clarity, resulting in mental clutter as you are constantly being reminded that you still need to deal with those items. This is completely unhelpful as the net outcome is you’ve added more clutter to your mental load and still have the physical clutter too.

 

In practice

If you are working with physical items, ensure you remove those items. This is where it can get harder! I am sure I am not alone in having boxes and bags of items ready to be either donated or sold, but then are rummaged through and items are reabsorbed back into the house.  One of the best ways to ensure the excess items are removed in a timely way is to place them immediately into the boot of the car, ready to be dropped off at the relevant charity or collection point on your next trip out.  A workable alternative is to have a designated place in your home, say near the front door or just inside the garage, where items are placed, and then commit to removing them by a set date. Share this commitment with other household members too – for added accountability!

(Side note - it pays to remember that when we remove items from our home they are not removed from the planet! Where ever possible, if items are still in good condition, please look to donate, sell or gift on your unwanted items so they continue to be useful and do not end up in the landfill.)

If you are working with commitments or other forms of non-physical clutter, removing them can include deleting the appointments from your electronic diary, removing other physical reminders, and/or practicing saying no!  Personally, I do all of these, as non-physical clutter isn’t visible to anyone else and so requires extra effort on my part to remove and then maintain.

 

Obstacles; Decision fatigue and emotional attachment 

The theory

Decision Fatigue is real!

Decision Fatigue is real!

Decision fatigue means we are so overwhelmed, our ability to make any decision, is exhausted. Decision fatigue is real and tends to hit us in the messy middle. Avoiding decision fatigue is part of our goal of decluttering. By removing extraneous items and activities from our life, we will find ourselves with fewer decisions to be made.

Additionally, emotional attachment can make parting with some items incredibly difficult. You may be reluctant to let go of inherited objects, gifts, or other things with sentimental value, fearing you will lose the connection with that loved one or time if you no longer have the object.

In practice

The messy middle occurs when we have been making great progress with decluttering, and then in what feels like an instant, we are suddenly exhausted and can no longer make what feels like an appropriate decision. This is often where we get stuck. And so we feel our decluttering efforts have been futile, as we started strong, then lost our way in the middle. Losing our way often is because of decision fatigue! It’s not that you aren’t capable, it’s simply the fact you’ve been making so many decisions.

And a reality check here – when you have been decluttering your activities or belongings, your life hasn’t been on pause; you have still been getting on with the rest of your life. Which – surprise! - requires decisions! Deciding what to wear, what to eat for dinner, when to do certain tasks and activities are all daily decisions we take for granted. Some of these decisions may be streamlined with the help of habits, but for the moment let’s assume they are simply adding to the weight of decision fatigue.

 

Ways around the obstacles

Ask yourself, does this item make me feel heavier or lighter?

Ask yourself, does this item make me feel heavier or lighter?

There are a number of ways to deal with decision fatigue, but my preferred approach in the context of decluttering our belongings and our life is to take a break.

Whilst many advocates for decluttering suggest tackling the whole thing in one go (Marie Kondo I’m looking at you!) personally I have found breaking the task down into smaller chunks makes it easier to move through the messy middle, maintain some momentum and avoid decision fatigue.

Emotional attachment can feel harder to work around but is possible. Again, there are many suggested ways for resolving emotional attachment to items, including reminding yourself that the memory of the person, event, or experience is not in the item, or taking a photo of the item.

Another approach I’ve found particularly helpful (especially for items I feel deeply emotional about), is asking the following question;

Does this item make me feel heavier or lighter?

 

Clarity and Confidence – the result

Outer Order leads to Inner Calm, clarity and Confidence

Outer Order leads to Inner Calm, clarity and Confidence

As author Gretchen Rubin puts it in her book Outer Order Inner Calm, a life with outer order contributes to a sense of inner calm.

Decluttering leads to mental clarity as once you remove all the items vying for your time and attention, you create physical and mental space for other opportunities. Similarly, once you have streamlined and been intentional about where you spend your time and with whom, you have greater clarity around who and what is important to you. And you get to spend your most precious resource, time, with those loved ones and doing things that mean something to you. 

And that sounds exactly like the recipe for a purposeful, joyful life.

 

Are you keen to embrace this season to kickstart a change in your career, business, or life? My Design Your Season workshop can help. It’s an easy (and affordable!) self-guided workshop, supporting you to get very clear and specific about a three-month period (or a time of your choosing) so you can experience greater clarity and confidence.


Sometimes we need more

Decluttering and workshops can be terrific, but sometimes we need a more specific, tailored approach to increase our clarity and confidence. And that’s where working with a coach (that’s me!) comes in. With one-on-one individual support, coaching can make all the difference when you are either experiencing a time of change or wanting to feel clear and confident in your career, business, and life.

All coaching starts with a complimentary consult so together we can determine if coaching is right for you. Book your complimentary consult here. 

Comment

Rowena Mabbott

Rowena Mabbott is a Career and Life Confidence Coach, podcast host, writer, and author.

She is also the mother of three boys—two living and one angel. The loss of her son inspired her to follow her heart and leave her corporate HR role to become a coach working with women. She believes that you are already whole and don’t need fixing. After working with Rowena, you’ll embrace your unique strengths and step into your authentic self, creating a life filled with purpose and intention.

Her clients emerge with crystal-clear goals, the confidence to pursue their dreams, and the tools to transform their lives.

Rowena writes a monthly coaching article and contemporary fiction that explores the joy and complexities of romantic, filial, and platonic relationships.