Choose to design this season
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It's the first week of April, and here in Sydney, Australia the weather has shifted, and we can feel the approach of the next season. But perhaps, more immediately, our state and federal governments have (at the time of writing), just advised that we are likely to be continuing social distancing, and therefore working from home and remote schooling, until at least the end of June, if not until end of July.
Like me, you may have first read this with a sense of dread. At least 3 more months of what most of us have been managing for 2 to 3 weeks already feels like forever. At least it does when it’s midday and you’ve barely managed any of your own work, despite getting up pre-dawn. Instead, you’ve been busy assisting children with their remote school work, time-sharing the office/desk space with your partner, fielding calls from anxious friends and neighbours and attempting to keep sane…!
After giving yourself permission to mourn for the normal we all knew only weeks ago, I’d like to share an alternate view with you.
Choose to Design this season
What if you choose to view the coming 3 to 4-month period as a season?
Then it’s a new three or four-month period, full of potential and opportunity, ready to be designed to suit you.
Counter to all myriad of posts urging you to use your time wisely and be more productive during your period of lockdown, what about a gentler approach? Instead, consider how do you want to feel in 3 months’ time?
Another way of looking at it, is to consider what you need to do (or not do) to ensure that future you feels proud of current you. That could be by simplifying down and just doing the bare minimum whilst maintaining your own sanity. It could be that you were able to keep your family healthy, fed and happy. Or that you didn’t lose your sense of humour. It could be that you reached out and had a weekly FaceTime or video call with your own parents, grandparents or any other loved ones who you’re worried about and who are far away.
The question is, when this period of time passes, how would you prefer to remember it?
“Ten thousand flowers in spring,
the moon in autumn,
a cool breeze in summer,
snow in winter.
If your mind isn’t clouded by unnecessary things,
This is the best season of your life.”
Designing a season
Some years ago, I heard the idea of Designing your Summer on the podcast Happier with Gretchen Ruben.
According to Gretchen, designing a season is about planning ahead for a 3-month period around how you want to feel, and what you'd like to do or accomplish.
After listening to the podcast (which was all about designing a summer), my thoughts have frequently returned to this concept. It got me thinking that surely, we could design any season or any time to make the most of it and make it memorable. It's not only applicable for summer!
For me, designing and planning any period of time around how you want to feel, and what you might like to achieve seems like a fun way to break up the year.
Here, during the coming three-month period, we have Easter and a fortnight of school holidays plus a separate long weekend in June. And, we will have the kids at home 24/7 for this period, and for most of us, our partner too. So, it seems a perfect opportunity to consider, how do I want to feel through this distancing and isolation season?
And, given we are ALL in a particular season right now (the season of social distancing and self-isolation), why not treat this as an opportunity as a family to intentionally design how we ALL want to feel throughout this period?
Season = ready-made 90-day plan
In my time in the corporate world we often spoke of 30, 60 and 90-day plans. The idea being that when we set goals with a shorter timeframe, we tend to maintain our focus and achieve them. This period, being three months, is a ready-made 90-day plan. Plus, it happens to (mostly) line up with this quarter (April, May, June).
However, we needn't be in a corporate role to apply this approach. With a ready-made three-month (90 day) time period thanks to current circumstances, it's an opportunity to dream, design and plan how we want to feel for the next few months, knowing we have a greater likelihood of achieving our goals simply due to the enhanced focus of the shorter timeframe.
And if you needed more persuading, Viktor Frankl, in Man’s Search for Meaning, shares that from his experience in Nazi concentration camps, those with short term goals fared better and maintained a better sense of wellbeing than those with longer term goals.
Planning my season
When I think about the coming three months, and how I want to feel, and what I'd like to achieve, and ensuring future me feels good, it comes down to three key areas.
1. Family
I know I want to spend quality time with my immediate family. With all of us being in the same space, day in and day out, it’s easy to get complacent and mistake quantity for quality. Instead, I want to design my time, so I am intentional about family meals together, screen-free time, family activities and one-on-one special time with each family member.
2. Wellbeing
For my health and wellbeing, I wish I could do what my heart loves and travel to spend time in nature, with walks in the bush/forest and by the ocean. But, I can’t. So instead, I’ll focus on enjoying the walks available to me in my local park. I’ll also prioritise my daily journaling practice and morning routine. Plus of course, plenty of time for rest.
3. Development
I also know that there may be some courses or books I wish to immerse myself in or learn from. Or something else completely! My aim is by the end of this period, I can look back and feel that I have marked this time with a particular achievement, tone or flavour. This might look like getting creative with words, paints or fabric, experimenting with different foods and ingredients in my cooking, or reading books from my reading list (LINK).
These are all things I'm still pondering.
But it feels less daunting to consider the coming months with everyone at home if I can contemplate using the months of April, May and June in a positive way that will support me and my family to embrace this period together and look back on it fondly.
Planning this time with family
For my family, usually this time of year would be full of travel and then the excitement of winter sports starting for my boys. Now, rather than planning to visit other places, we need to consider alternatives.
Instead of asking; ‘Where would you like to go today?’, or ‘What would you like to do today?’
We are asking; ‘What would you like to have learnt by the end of this time period?’
For my kids, I want them to explore setting a personal goal in addition to whatever goals school is giving them. For example, my 13-year-old wants to perfect making a family dinner. My 9-year-old wants to learn everything he can about World War 2. As a family (he’s yet to agree), the rest of us decided a goal for him too - that he will finally learn how to blow his nose!
All jokes aside, with a 3 or 4-month period stretching ahead of you, knowing that you and your kids will all be home, the question to ask yourself and them is, ‘What do you want to look back on and remember this time for?’
Perhaps like me do you want to ensure your kids have fond memories of this time. Acknowledging that it was a challenging time, but also remembering the fun and different things we all did that made it a positive experience despite the limitations.
Designing vs Planning
Now let's be real.
The temptation to curl up on the couch, watch Netflix with the kids and eat a lot of chocolate will be there, but it will be up to me to decide to do something different and not give into temptation all that often.
Designing is a bit like dreaming. So, I'm hoping that by thinking ahead and actually PLANNING the season, I will feel more committed to truly embrace the joy of life and make these desires happen.
Designing YOUR season
If this idea appeals to you, and you like the concept of making this lockdown period feel different, then why not give it a try? It might not feel right for you now, but in a few weeks or months-time, you might be drawn to it. The idea is timeless and can be applied whenever you feel you'd like to acknowledge a period of time in a different way.
Some extra ideas you could consider including when you are designing and planning this season include;
Writing a bucket list and tackling an item or two from your list that require a time commitment (e.g. learning a language, perfecting your signature dish, reading the complete works of Shakespeare, learning to knit etc)
Connect with friends who are finding themselves in a similar situation by committing to a regular lunch or dinner date via Zoom (my parents are a great example; they have set up a standing Zoom call every Friday evening for a pre-dinner drinks date with their friends of 50+ years)
Read a book a week for the 3-month period – what you choose to read is up to you!
Whatever you decide, designing and planning this strange season we all find ourselves in can be a fun way to clearly mark this time and make it memorable for positive reasons. By focusing on how you want to feel, and maybe achieving some new goals, you are likely to feel more productive, happier and have a greater sense of calm in what is an emotionally challenging time. All of which sound good to me!
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