Recently, I read this article on Becoming Minimalist. The article talks about the compliment the writer’s grandfather most wanted to be spoken at his funeral, which was; “He was the same person at home as he was in public.”

As I read the article and thought more about it, I realised the compliment works both ways.

When working with clients, we don’t spend a lot of our time together focusing on how they can be more themselves at home. That’s not to say being more yourself at home isn’t a good thing! Rather, the majority of my clients seek my support to work towards bringing their full selves into their career, work or business.

They have identified a disconnect between who they are at home or in their day-to-day life, and how they want to show up in their career or business.

Who receives your best?

As the original article points out, when we are with those we love, we show our true selves. Those people we feel utterly comfortable with, who are, generally, our closest friends and family. When we are relaxed, the best parts of ourselves come out.

However, because we feel safe with these people, that can also mean they see fewer of our good qualities. Our loved ones may, unfortunately, receive the sarcastic comments, the tired grumpy answers, and the exhausted parent who snaps at our child for asking for what feels like the 10 millionth time if they can play on the iPad.

But we also tend to be most relaxed with our friends and family. So, this might mean the sense of humour that we keep in check in the workplace, as we deem it unprofessional, is rampant at home. Our family knows us as the joke-making prankster who is always ready to see the funny side of life.

Yet in our workplace, we are considered serious and sensible.

Equally, our kindness and compassion, frequently on display when caring for our immediate family and neighbours, and animals and shown through our volunteer work, is well known to those with whom we are close. But our kindness and compassion aren’t always shown at work, because someone years ago uttered a throwaway comment that we took to heart, telling us it wasn’t professional to wear our heart on our sleeve or show we cared.

These two examples are drawn from real-life experiences with my clients. Their individual gifts and strengths are wonderful and are core to who they are, and why people enjoy spending time with them. Yet they didn’t feel safe or welcome to reveal the full complexity of themselves in their career or business.

Which is really sad.

Be paid to be you

We spend a significant portion of our life working, either in paid or unpaid work, running our own business, or forging and working on our careers. Surely the ideal is to be able to turn up as our full selves, and be paid for it?

My client recently reminded me that one of my key messages that she frequently refers to is “be paid to be you“. She laughed and suggested that this had become a bit of a mantra for her and her husband, as I shared it so many times! And she’s right.

That is the dream.

“Be paid for being me” is the dream for most people when it comes down to it.

But what does it mean, this dream?

It means we feel safe and welcome to turn up as our full selves, in ALL areas of our life; in our personal relationships with loved ones, and friends, in our workplaces and in our careers, with colleagues, clients and associates.

Certainly, ALL my clients would love to be authentically and fully themselves in their work, and earn an income from it.

But how do we do this?

Identify and embrace your strengths

Let’s imagine for a moment that you are my client. One of the first things we do is explicitly explore your strengths. We do this because through identifying your strengths and focusing on embracing these, you will feel greater satisfaction, fulfilment, purpose and enjoyment in life.

Specifically, I use the VIA Strengths assessment, because the 24-character strengths in the VIA signature strengths model are universal. That is, they are found in all cultures across the world. Additionally, strengths are beautifully aligned with forward-focused coaching work.

Strengths can be described as your superpowers. Everybody’s combination of strengths is unique to them, and this is what makes you, you. Tapping into your personal blend of strengths can bring greater clarity, increased confidence, and a deep sense of contentment in and with your life.

So, back to you. We utilise your character strengths as a starting place, and together identify your signature strengths (which are your top 3 to 7 strengths). We then explore how these can be utilised in your career and life to bring a greater sense of satisfaction, achievement, and happiness.

Then get ready for the compliments to start! Yes, seriously. Through this process, you’re likely to hear other people start commenting that you seem more radiant, grounded and happier. (These are real compliments my clients have received!)

And what’s more, YOU will feel clear and confident about your decisions and start showing up in the world as your genuine self.

Tap into your most enjoyed skills

As well as identifying and embracing your strengths, being paid to be you includes utilising your best and most enjoyed skills.

We all have a myriad of skills that we have acquired through higher education, on-the-job experiences and life in general. Each of us has skills that come naturally to us. That is, skills that require less effort for us than they might for other people. These skills are often called competencies.

For example, my husband has a natural skill or competency for strategic vision. He is gifted at looking ahead in a clear and strategic way. I have a natural competency for organisation, whether that applies to processes, tasks, events or items. I can see the best, most efficient way for things to be organised.

Now certainly, we can each do the opposite – I can work strategically and my husband can be organised. But within our partnership, it is more efficient to default to where the skills come naturally and easily.

And this can be relevant within your own career: you may be currently utilising skills that you are very good at, which are your natural competencies. Which is great! Alternatively, you may be using skills you are quite good at, but still require some effort. And that’s okay too. Not everyone can have a role where they only do the things they are brilliant at and that come easily. However, we can ensure throughout our whole life (that is, in our personal relationships as well as work) our skills, innate talents and strengths are utilised as best as possible.

Back to the example above. For both my husband and me, our skills play nicely with our strengths. Skills and strengths combine to make up who we are. And they work the same way for you; your skills combined with your strengths contribute to what makes you, you.

Being paid to be you then, includes utilising your best skills AND your signature strengths in your own unique way of working and being.

Find meaning in your work

Now before you despair and think you must immediately quit your job and find your ‘ideal job’, where you can use just your best skills and strengths, let me reassure you. Every role or job can be made more enjoyable when we know and embrace our strengths and utilise our best skills.

Indeed, research has consistently shown that those who look for meaning in their work are more satisfied than those who look for joy. Therefore, instead of looking for the job you think you will be happiest doing, it may be better to identify roles that fulfil your need to learn, grow, contribute and align with your values.

Which is good news. Rather than changing your job, workplace or career, you can choose to change how you spend your time. By taking action aligned with your values, and utilising your strengths, you can feel the excitement and purpose of a new role, without losing your current benefits. This is exactly what many of my clients do with my support!

Being paid to be you, therefore, does not entail quitting your current job (unless you really want to!). Rather, by identifying what matters to you, and utilising your unique skills and strengths, you can make the most of every situation and get maximum enjoyment out of it. This is key to living a meaningful life and ultimately, being paid to be you.

More Support

If you would like to have greater clarity about your strengths, and feel confident to know and embrace them in ALL areas of your career, work, and life - I can help.

Through the twin lenses of intentionality and strengths-based work, career coaching with me is designed to tap into what makes you tick. Exploring your hidden talents and utilising your unique gifts either in your existing career, when considering a future transition to your dream role, or in your general life - within this framework, you will feel more fulfilled, with a greater sense of meaning, more engaged and have better job satisfaction.

Learn more about Coaching with Rowena